Please Stand By ...

I have not posted a blog recently- it's been 3 months, in fact. I've written several blog posts over those months, but have not posted any of them.

Things in my world have been a little bit upside down of late, and while I've been struggling with following my own mandate to find the joy and love in everything, I haven't felt qualified to post.

A rather silly perspective, I suppose, as sharing the struggles is as important (if not more important!) as sharing the triumphs, but I was concerned they would come across as hollow, or fake. I want to be fully present in the moment when I write and post here ...

I am working at getting myself back on-track with my writing, and will explain some of what's been happening in my world as I go along.

Some of what I've been dealing with includes joyful things as well, to be fair:

(I enjoyed being a bit of a slacker while I spent more time with my kids during their summer break!)

And some things have been very, very hard:

During the month of August, we said good-bye to four family members, the first (and hardest) of which was my big brother.

Just typing that last sentence was very painful; it's as if putting the words down forces me to accept their truth.

As I said, Please, Stand By ...

Connecting to our Community- another form of self-care

I love living in our neighbourhood. The streets are tree-lined, the neighbours friendly, and the river paths provide lots of exploration (and burr!) options for the "Hound of the Baskervilles".

One of the other things I love about our neighbourhood are all the interesting little shops which abound- it is possible to find all manner of interesting and useful items (and services) without needing to go more than a few blocks. Groceries, banking, rent a film, antiques, nails ... you name it.

For things such as the nails, one needn't look further than Pollock's Hardware. The display window alone is something to take in (especially if you are simply out for a walk)- it looks like a shop window from another era. This sense of time-travel only gets stronger as you cross the threshold- old wooden shelving sits on the rough hewn wood floors, and you can find all manner of odds and ends you wouldn't have thought were still available for purchase.

Odds are good you'll be greeted by a shopkeep of the four-footed variety, as Digger et al are often hanging out there. Visitors are permitted to bring their dogs, too (we tend not to, as The Hound is rather large, and tends to bump into things. She's also extremely protective of her "pack").

Need just a few nails? Don't bother with Rona or Home Depot, where you have to buy them by the kilo, but you can still get them by the handful at Pollock's ... The staff are extremely friendly and helpful, and if they don't happen to carry what you need, they will be able to suggest a place where you might find it. Not only have I found I can usually get what I'm looking for there, the price is often just as good as, or even cheaper than the "big stores".

We have been renting films from Video Cellar for over 20 years- they recently raised their prices, but are still relatively inexpensive. For our family, renting a film on DVD works out far cheaper than taking everyone to the cinema (although I have been known to do that, as well), and it gives the Littlest man the opportunity to ask questions or leave the room if something proves to be overwhelming for him. (Video Cellar also sells assorted junk food at cheap prices, but we won't go there ;-) )

I have previously mentioned Vintage Veruca- I can't stress enough how lovely it is, and if you haven't checked out her shop, you really are missing out on something special.

Another of my favourite places to visit is the Modern Sewing Machine Company. The gentleman whose shop it is is quite knowledgeable about the products he services, and his is the shop to go to if you are looking for parts for a Singer treadle machine. The prices are very reasonable.

As well, we have Sonya's Flowers. She not only sells flowers (as one would expect, from the business name), she also has a small tea & coffee bar at the back of the shop. Most of the teas are on display in glass jars so that you might give them a sniff before ordering a cup. It's a real exercise in being present in the moment- you don't come here to grab a cup as you dash off to work; no, it's best experienced by having a seat, and taking in the scenery while you wait the 3-5 minutes for your tea to steep (2 minutes for white tea). Sonya herself is very helpful and friendly, as is Marilyn, who also works in the shop. The shop also boasts many very lovely little things to display or give as gifts- from colourful sock monkeys to candles to "Lug" bags ...

A few weeks ago, when Himself had the day off, we went for lunch at Santa Lucia. The dining room is very small, but not cramped; rather intimate. They also have a bar/lounge with a patio. Our lunch was excellent; it was nice to just spend time together, too.

Next door to Santa Lucia is Tenderloin Meats, a shop which is frequently called "The Bacon Store" in our home. Tenderloin is home to what is probably the best bacon in town.

By patronising local businesses, not only are you helping your local economy, it gives you a chance to meet and get to know some of your neighbours, too. The more people in your neighbourhood you know, the more connected you'll feel to the community. A connected community is a healthy community, one that looks after its members. Our neighbours seem to know one another fairly well; so well, in fact, that a stray cat is enough to cause a stir ...

So, that's my neighbourhood in a hurry, why not take a walk around yours and tell me what you've found there?

"Life's but a walking shadow

"A poor player, that struts and frets his hour upon the stage, and then is heard no more."
(William Shakespeare- "Macbeth")

Yesterday I was planning to blog about my neighbourhood.  My plans were derailed by the discovery of the passing of one of our cats. Himself and I had noticed we hadn't had our constant snuggler in a day or two. We've been sick this week, which probably explains why neither of us had noticed sooner. We spent an hour searching the house for him on Thursday evening, with no luck.

Thankfully, it was Himself, not one of the boys, who discovered him in the basement. the boys were devastated; we'd had him since before the youngest two were born, and our middle son (now nearly 15) was only 10 months old when we got him. He'd been a kitten.

We had a small informal burial service in the back yard; we placed him amongst the lilac trees. Those present took turns placing the dirt back on top of him.

Unfortunately, not everyone was home to participate (but, as embalming isn't an option, we couldn't exactly wait). Our eldest was at work, and our daughter is currently in Chicago with her school band.

I'm not looking forward to having to tell her ...

But I want to end on a positive note- and share with you a photograph of our sweet boy, snuggled up on the couch with our rather large dog.

Cooking as an expression of love

When we cook a meal for someone (or multiple people), whether family or friend(s), it can become an opportunity to show our love for that person/group of people.

I don't know about you, but when I'm cooking for company, I sometimes get rather nervous. I worry about timing everything perfectly, and about getting each dish "just so". But being nervous while cooking can stifle us to the point that we stick to the "safe" zone. Lots of cookbooks will tell you not to try out an untested (by you) recipe with company.

But sometimes, I like to throw caution to the wind and go for it, regardless. It just depends on the company ;-). (I'm far less likely to get really crazy and creative when it's my IL's coming over, e.g.)

Apparently, I love to cook, not just for other people, but in front of them, too- I had a friend over for dinner one evening last summer, and, after I had shoved the third or fourth ingredient in whatever I was making under her nose and said "ZOMG, you have *got* to smell this!" Or "Wow, look at the colours in these tomatoes!". she remarked, "Wow, you really get into it when you cook, don't you?!".

Yeah, I guess I do.

Another time, I had the ladies from my Book Club over, and because time got away from me -yet again- not everything was ready when they got there. I tried my best to just carry on; visiting with everyone while finishing up one of the dishes I was serving.  I didn't think anything of it (other than, "C'mon, Bodi, get your sh!t together next time and have this stuff done beforehand" and "These women must think I'm the worst hostess, prepping food in front of them").

Later that evening, sitting with the last of my guests as we caught up over a (few) glasses of wine, she remarked on how the scene appeared to her when she got there (she had arrived late due to a renovation emergency).

"I came in, and there you were, talking with everyone and casually rolling sushi all the while, like it was a cooking demonstration. It was a classic Bodi moment".

So I guess I'm a bit of a showman/showwoman-er, show-off? Ah well.

It is true, though, that I can really "get into it" when I'm cooking. I try to enjoy the process as much as the outcome- being present in the moment really connects you to what you are about to eat. Doing so with friends around you connects *them* to the meal, too. Try it sometime!  But only if it won't stress you out even more.

Tonight's culinary adventure involved chopping up celery, carrots, potatoes, onions, garlic and turnip. I took some photos, but I must point out the obvious here: I am *NOT* a photographer.

Finding the joy in the moment

A few years ago, I took a Birthing From Within workshop. A colleague (and friend), who had already been following her own Birthing From Within path for some time, told me "It will change your life."

She was being quite sincere, but I was doubtful. Not because I thought she was wrong, so much as "What if I'm not ready for it?". But, as they say, you take (learn) from something that which you are able to take, and sometimes more comes to you later, it's all a matter of whether you are willing to let it change you or not.

That has certainly been my experience with the workshop. Interestingly ehough, the most profound changes have come from the reading and other work I did prior to the workshop; and this blog's very existence owes a lot to that experience. Heck, the origin of the title comes from another workshop I participated in, one with Pam England herself, called "Birth as a Hero's Journey". During that workshop, Pam spoke with us about finding our inner love warrior in any given situation. It's much more than that, of course, but I don't feel qualified to speak on it further. If you ever get an opportunity to attend a lecture or workshop with Pam, though, I heartily encourage you to do so- as my friend Cindy said, "It will change your life" (if you are willing to let it).

One of the books I read spoke about being present in the moment. At first, it seemed an odd statement- how could I *not* be present in the moment when doing something? But it's not about our physical presence, of course, it's about being focused on the task at-hand, and enjoying the task for what it is, not "doing the dishes to get them done". (If you are interested in reading more, I encourage you to check out Thich Nhat Hanh's book, "The Miracle of Mindfulness").

When you really think about it, most of us have a habit of not being present in the moment for many things ... how often have you found yourself "running on auto-pilot"? Or doing a task (such as washing the dishes), but thinking more about the next thing on your to-do list, or ruminating about an issue you might be having with a co-worker or friend or family member?

I'm still learning how to do this, but I am making an effort to ask, as Pam put it on one of her training CD's, "How do you bring your love to the full moon?".

Food for thought. (my next blog will be about food, so that's really a tie-in statement)