House Concert

Earlier this week, my friend Damien invited me to a house concert at which his artwork would be featured. The concert took place last night.

I love going to house concerts- the energy is amazing! Smaller crowds and familiar settings make for a very intimate experience, and usually afford one the opportunity to speak directly with the performer(s).

Historically, the house concerts I have attended have all been at the home of friends who live in the neighbourhood I grew up in; this meant a chance to pop in and visit my parents for a bit before the show, the comfort of "going home", so to speak, and of course, an excuse to visit with some wonderful people with whom I don't get to spend nearly enough time ...

This house concert would be different- first of all, Damien is a visual artist; I'd not seen a static display done at a house concert before- interesting. Of course, with a group name like "The North End Artists' Collective", having a visual artist at a house concert doesn't seem all that odd.

Secondly, while the hostess and I are acquainted with one another, I'd certainly never been in her home before (this sort of thing is pushing the envelope a little, for me, I'm rather shy).

Thirdly (and perhaps best of all)  ...

The concert was two blocks from my home. Walking distance- wow! As it happens, I went over to a friend's house (there's safety in numbers, when you're stepping outside the comfort zone, even if it's only a little bit), and we walked to the concert together.

Before I start going into details: Best evening in ages.

First of all, apart from Damien, I wasn't familiar with the performers. I knew one of them vaguely from Boo's school, but the musician was new to me.

I admit I was a little nervous ("what if I don't like her style of music?"), but with my friend by my side, I ventured forth.

The parent I knew from the school, Kim, performed scenes from her Fringe show. Oh. My. Goodness. She had the entire houseful (we were spread out across three rooms and a hallway!) in stitches with her very direct, sometimes graphic, incredibly honest monologues about marriage, sex and the 'joys' of womanhood. Some of her words might have made people squirm, simply because while many of us have probably had the very same experiences as she was describing, most of us are 'too embarrassed' to admit out loud what she was willing to say on-stage. Brilliantly witty.

Her performance was interspersed with songs by the musical performer, Harmony Parent, whose style, I am happy to report, I truly emjoyed. Her voice was full and powerful- she had excellent pitch, and a keen eye and ear for her audience. Her guitar-playing was not perfection, but it was decent, and she made no claims to being the next Liona Boyd, sharing with her appreciative audience how she had started playing the guitar about 10 years ago- self-taught.

She had a CD of her music for sale, and by the time she was halfway through her first song, I had decided I would be buying it.

Heck, I'd also decided I would love to sing *with* her sometime... But that's a dream for another post.

There was a brief intermission, during which people circulated through the kitchen to get refreshments and snacks (the invite said "BYOB and a snack to share"- there was no shortage of either).

During the intermission, I managed to grab a hug from and catch up with Damien- thanks to the magic of facebook, we are frequently in contact, but as is so often the case these days, rarely actually see one another face-to-face. His artwork is beautiful, he has a good eye for seeing and celebrating the divine feminine. But don't just take my word for it, check it out for yourself!

My friend who accompanied me to the concert introduced me to her neighbour, and her neighbour's friend (another neighbour). Nothing odd about that, of course, it's always wonderful to meet other people from The 'Hood.

What took me by surprise, however, was how they reacted when she introduced me; they knew my name?!

Well, more correctly, they knew me by one of my titles.

"Oh!" they exclaimed, "You're Boo's Mum?!"  Turns out, both of them have worked in the school for a number of years, and they have both gotten to know Mr. "I am not a Drama Guy". He makes quite an impression on people, I knew that, but apparently not just on us, (his family).  As a matter of fact, the lovely ladies were incredulous when I mentioned we'd only been living in the neighbourhood for 3 years ... (this came up after they'd asked the names of our older children- and were surprised to only recognise one).

It's really interesting to see your children through the eyes of other people ...

As I said previously, one of the nice things about house concerts is the opportunity to meet the performers in a relaxed, informal setting. I was not only able to speak with Damien, but also with Harmony, and Kim, too!

Since Kim and I have seen one another at school functions, starting a conversation was fairly easy "Nice to finally meet you!" ...

She asked me how many children I had at the school, what grades they were in, etc.

"Oh, wait, you're Boo's Mum?!" that took me aback, but before I could even ask how it was she already knew him, she turned to her husband, introducing me to him as "Boo's Mum". She then turned back to me, and said "Boo is friends with our son, J--"

Now it was my turn- "Oh, you're J's Mum? Oh, that's too funny ... I gather they're working on a film together ... "

Sounds like the "tying up the loose ends" you'd see in a TV series or film, doesn't it?

Seriously, you can't make this stuff up.

On top of being a fantastic performance, it was enlightening to learn that my youngest son is something of a neighbourhood celebrity ...

The things they say ... Instalment #1

Sometimes, the things the Minions of Chaos come out with leave me perplexed. At other times, frustrated.

But most often, amused. Here is one such example, a recent conversation I had with 'Boo', our youngest (he of the Epic Concert evening).

First, a teeny bit of 'backstory';

I am a member of the volunteer executive for our Community Centre, and on Monday evening, we had our monthly meeting.

One of the items was a report on the progress of a *free* drama programme being run out of the centre, geared specifically to 9-12 year olds. Since our Littlest Man is always telling stories with a dramatic flair and seems to enjoy hamming it up in general, I perked up when they mentioned there was still room in the class. It even falls on a night which doesn't conflict with Karate, Police Cadets, or his print-making class ...

"Wow!" I thought, "This would be perfect for Boo! Hope he's still awake when I get home, I can't wait to ask him about signing up!". I could even hear and picture his exuberant response ...

As it happened, he was still awake when I returned home.  In fact, he came downstairs when he heard me come in ...

"Hey, Buddy! How would you like to go to a Drama class at the Community Centre on Thursday evenings?"

His response was not the enthusiastic "Awesome!" I had anticipated.

And here is where I will heed the advice of Mark Twain, and rather than say "The old woman screamed", I will "bring her on, and let her scream."

"No!" he said, without a second's hesitation. My surprise must have been quite evident, as he immediately followed up with;

"It's not really My 'Thing', Mum. I'm not a 'Drama Guy' ... :::: sigh :::: ", he completed this statement with an eye roll, too.

Nope, you're not dramatic at all, Boo, not even a little bit ... ;-)

Man, sometimes this parenting gig is just awesome.

Where do we go from here?

Yesterday, a horrific tragedy occurred. All over facebook, as well as other areas of the Internet, people were expressing their outrage, their shock, their grief.

Today, more statements and comments are coming out, inlcuding theories as to why it happened; from a lack of gun control to speculation as to the shooter's motivations and/or mental health.

I won't speak to the former, and as to the latter, I don't think we will ever, truly, know or understand. How could we? How does one understand such extreme violence? To come to an understanding means to come to some form of an agreement, and I don't think we want to agree with any of it.

In the end, it doesn't matter what his reasons were, good or bad. What matters is that there are 26 lives which have been lost, 20 of those children.

As it takes two people to create a baby, that means 40 parents whose arms will never again hug their child, nevermind grandparents, aunts, uncles ... or siblings.

I understand the desire to want to comprehend what happened, to put a cause and effect explanation to it so we can sort it out in our heads. I truly do.

But, at the end of the day, all the theories in the world will not help those aching hearts and arms hugs their children again.

I am particularly concerned about the "theories" that the shooter had autism or Asperger's, as if that would "explain everything". It doesn't. I know of several families in which there are children with these conditions, and while their lives are full of challenges, it doesn't mean their children are going to grab a gun and shoot up a schoolful of small children someday.

It's just too easy and convenient to put a label on someone who commits an act of such devastating violence. Easy, but not helpful.

My heart goes out to the families and community of those who were killed, children and adults alike.

Connecting to our Community- another form of self-care

I love living in our neighbourhood. The streets are tree-lined, the neighbours friendly, and the river paths provide lots of exploration (and burr!) options for the "Hound of the Baskervilles".

One of the other things I love about our neighbourhood are all the interesting little shops which abound- it is possible to find all manner of interesting and useful items (and services) without needing to go more than a few blocks. Groceries, banking, rent a film, antiques, nails ... you name it.

For things such as the nails, one needn't look further than Pollock's Hardware. The display window alone is something to take in (especially if you are simply out for a walk)- it looks like a shop window from another era. This sense of time-travel only gets stronger as you cross the threshold- old wooden shelving sits on the rough hewn wood floors, and you can find all manner of odds and ends you wouldn't have thought were still available for purchase.

Odds are good you'll be greeted by a shopkeep of the four-footed variety, as Digger et al are often hanging out there. Visitors are permitted to bring their dogs, too (we tend not to, as The Hound is rather large, and tends to bump into things. She's also extremely protective of her "pack").

Need just a few nails? Don't bother with Rona or Home Depot, where you have to buy them by the kilo, but you can still get them by the handful at Pollock's ... The staff are extremely friendly and helpful, and if they don't happen to carry what you need, they will be able to suggest a place where you might find it. Not only have I found I can usually get what I'm looking for there, the price is often just as good as, or even cheaper than the "big stores".

We have been renting films from Video Cellar for over 20 years- they recently raised their prices, but are still relatively inexpensive. For our family, renting a film on DVD works out far cheaper than taking everyone to the cinema (although I have been known to do that, as well), and it gives the Littlest man the opportunity to ask questions or leave the room if something proves to be overwhelming for him. (Video Cellar also sells assorted junk food at cheap prices, but we won't go there ;-) )

I have previously mentioned Vintage Veruca- I can't stress enough how lovely it is, and if you haven't checked out her shop, you really are missing out on something special.

Another of my favourite places to visit is the Modern Sewing Machine Company. The gentleman whose shop it is is quite knowledgeable about the products he services, and his is the shop to go to if you are looking for parts for a Singer treadle machine. The prices are very reasonable.

As well, we have Sonya's Flowers. She not only sells flowers (as one would expect, from the business name), she also has a small tea & coffee bar at the back of the shop. Most of the teas are on display in glass jars so that you might give them a sniff before ordering a cup. It's a real exercise in being present in the moment- you don't come here to grab a cup as you dash off to work; no, it's best experienced by having a seat, and taking in the scenery while you wait the 3-5 minutes for your tea to steep (2 minutes for white tea). Sonya herself is very helpful and friendly, as is Marilyn, who also works in the shop. The shop also boasts many very lovely little things to display or give as gifts- from colourful sock monkeys to candles to "Lug" bags ...

A few weeks ago, when Himself had the day off, we went for lunch at Santa Lucia. The dining room is very small, but not cramped; rather intimate. They also have a bar/lounge with a patio. Our lunch was excellent; it was nice to just spend time together, too.

Next door to Santa Lucia is Tenderloin Meats, a shop which is frequently called "The Bacon Store" in our home. Tenderloin is home to what is probably the best bacon in town.

By patronising local businesses, not only are you helping your local economy, it gives you a chance to meet and get to know some of your neighbours, too. The more people in your neighbourhood you know, the more connected you'll feel to the community. A connected community is a healthy community, one that looks after its members. Our neighbours seem to know one another fairly well; so well, in fact, that a stray cat is enough to cause a stir ...

So, that's my neighbourhood in a hurry, why not take a walk around yours and tell me what you've found there?

Differences, then and now

We used to live in "the hood".  I must first state that we had some really lovely neighbours, and we were very happy with the kids' school(s), too. Our primary reason for moving was that we had outgrown our little house.

Having said that, there is a definite difference between our new neighbourhood and our previous one. One could say it is decidedly more "genteel".

Case in point:

In our old neighbourhood, police cars and sirens were a frequent backdrop to our day-to-day life, to the point that people barely batted an eye unless there was something really exciting going on, such as the evening Himself and I came home from a late movie to see three police cars on our block and a police officer shining a flashlight into our basement window.  That, indeed, was a heart-stopping moment, as we immediately felt like the World's Worst Parents, having carelessly gone out for the evening ... we were somewhat relieved to notice the excitement was not, in fact, at our house, but the neighbour's. Only somewhat relieved, as it was the people next door ...

We saw our neighbour from across the street sitting on his front porch with his partner, and as we were always on very friendly terms, we went over to see if they knew what was going on.

As it turned out, they did. Evidently, the neighbours next door were having a rather loud party, and someone "fell" off of the front porch. The victim had been rushed off to hospital in very poor condition, and the police were trying to sort out what had happened.

Contrast this scene to one that recently occurred in our new neighbourhood:

One afternoon (around 2PM), just a few days ago, I looked out my front window to see several of my neighbours engrossed in conversation. Even from inside the house, I could tell there was something of great concern being discussed; several of them seemed quite worried.

Curious as to what was going on, and wanting to offer my support and/or help if needed, I went over and said "Hello" to those in the group whose names I already knew.

As I approached, I heard one neighbour say; "He's been here all day". Another asked "Where do you think he belongs?" "I'm not sure" said a third.

And the source of all this kerfuffle and consternation?







A cat.





Not a starving, bedraggled, or bothersome cat, either. Rather, he appeared a very healthy-looking (IE: well fed) long haired cat with nary a mat in his fur (IE: groomed). This cat was also very friendly (IE: well socialized), and was so obviously enjoying being the centre of attention ...

I think I'm going to love living here ...